Dumbfounded

Life takes interesting twists and turns. The last thing I should be saying is that I doubted that God actually answered prayers, but I really did. Not that I doubted his ability to do it, it's just that my prayers are generally so off that I miss the mark by 1000 feet. Someone pinch me because I think God is actually answering prayers in my life. And not the little prayers. I'm talking the big guns. The one's that you keep close to your heart and never really let go of. But if he's not answering them the way I thought he would or is, then I still believe in his goodness and faithfulness. Just because my prayer isn't answered in the exact way I thought it should be doesn't make him any less faithful or good. He doesn't even have to answer my prayers, ever, in order for me to believe these things. He's good. Always working for his daughters best interest at heart. He knew that I was strong enough to climb the mountains that he placed in front of me. He knew that it was going to hurt like hell but that I would, at some point, stand at the top and look at what we've accomplished and be proud. I am a different person because of all the things that I've had to struggle with over the years. But never once did I think that things would circle around again. I hoped, but I never really thought it. Here I am, possibly looking at a long lost dream coming true and I'm dumbfounded. Are my hands out to receive them freely or am I holding back because I'm afraid to try again? Can you do both? Can you try and receive it freely and still guard your heart and still be able to give pieces of yourself because you know that it takes your being vulnerable to open the door? Where's the line? Where's the safe zone? Am I being asked to take a few steps out of that zone in order to see my dream come true? If I did it once, I can do it again. Right? This time, with a better perspective.