Simple tea

I'm house sitting for some friends this week and I have been struggling to adjust to the way they live. Not that they live horrible lives but they have a maid who cooks, cleans, does the shopping and the laundry. It's so hard for me to allow her to wait on me like that! The other day she was cleaning and I was in my room reading and she brings me some tea. I was so happy with the tea but I just felt so bad that she was out there working away and I was relaxing. They also have a driver, which I love and hate. I love that I can get around and I don't have to negotiate with and auto driver, but again with the guilt! He waits for me while I go work in the office and he waits for me while I sit and have coffee. He waits outside the house until 6:00 while I'm inside reading or having tea or watching a movie. Ahhhh! It's so hard! I get that this is the culture and this is their job. But it feels like their job is to help me be lazy and like I really need help with that! Today when Elango, the driver, and I got home I tried to tell him that he could leave early but he stayed. I couldn't just let him sit out there reading his book or whatever he had with nothing, so I figured out how to make South Indian tea and took him a cup. His face alone was worth it. He just smiled at me while I tried to explain that I hoped it was good because it was my first time making Indian tea like that. I walked back into the house and I was just grinning from ear to ear. It made me so happy to be able to serve him in some small way. Tea is no big thing really, but hospitality is and that means a lot to Indians. It was just a cup of tea, nothing much at all, but it gave me such joy to be able to give back. I know it sounds simple but it made my entire day. If I do nothing more here than make tea for my driver, it was all worth it.

What I see

I've recently done an inventory on the things that I have seen here. When getting used to a new place and it's surroundings, I generally block everything else out and focus on certain things like landmarks, road names, did we cross a bridge and then turn left, and such. I tend to be less observant of things happening in the street or to the people on the street. In the last week alone I've taken more time to broaden my view and really see what's going on around me. Every day I when I go the church office, I have to take an auto-rick and right outside my apartment complex is the road that will take me there, but in order for the auto to get to that road, he has to do a u-turn and they like to charge you extra for that. Even though the city is designed that way and they have to make u-turns all the time. So what I've found is that it's so much easier to cross the main road (Poonamalee High Road-for those of you who want to know!) and walk a little down Tailor's Rd which leads to the office eventually and catch an auto there. But sometimes it takes a while for an auto to come by so I walk until I see one. This I have found, is my favorite thing to do. I LOVE walking in the street in this new city of mine and being able to go at a slower pace. There are so many things packed into these small spaces and it does indeed take a walk in the street to see it all. But what I have also seen are the things that you hope to never see. I saw a man with leprosy on his hands and feet. He was begging for money and as we passed one another it took everything in me to keep walking. I've seen several men just asleep on the sidewalks. I've found myself wondering if they're alive as I stepped around them. I saw a man with his hands bound over his head and his feet bound as well. He was just laying there and people were just walking and driving by like he wasn't even there. I've seen too many babies crying for food and one too many starving street dogs. There has been one highlight on my daily walk home from the offices. Every day I walk past this open dirt field that is used by the local boys for playing Cricket. When I come up to the field I tend to slow down and just watch them for a split second. I like to see them having fun and I can just imagine the dreams some of them have about playing Cricket one day. It makes me smile the rest of the way home.

But today I encountered something that I've seen before and it never fails to strike my heart and I hurt. After church after we had had a little luncheon and there was a few left over wraps so I took one so I would have something for dinner. I was being driven home by a friend and we were stopped at the signal light and this girl maybe 11 0r 12 years old was holding this little child, no more than 3 and most likely younger, came up to our door and started knocking and then putting her fingers to her lips. And when it registered that they were asking for food, my friend looked for something to give them and all we had was the chicken wrap I had in my hand. Of course we gave it to them because they needed it so much more than I did. She took the wrap and just went over to the little median and sat down with her brother or sister and started devouring this wrap right there in the street. As common as this is, it broke me. As we pulled away I looked back at them and just sunk in my spirit a little. Their clothes were so dirty and they were so thin and they were alone. Aside from the obvious that it may have been a ploy to get food (who cares) they didn't even try to take the food and take it back anywhere. They sat down in the middle of the intersection and ate the food that a complete stranger had just handed them through a car window! There's just something so wrong about this! My home land is so full of useless things and here I am handing food to children, who have no one looking after them or providing for them, through a window! My heart hurts for them. It goes against everything that tells me the world is fair and good. The need is overwhelming. I know that it isn't my job to save them or to try and meet every need but how do I help just one? Just one enough to make a difference? Just one.
This city has so many good things and then sometimes I see just enough of the bad that make me forget about the good. I pray that my heart doesn't grow cold when the 150th man comes to me begging for money. I pray that I'm never able to turn a blind eye to the hungry child on the street corner. I pray that my heart will always be as compassionate for a country I do not understand and tries my character in every way.
In all that I see on my daily walk, I know that God is good. I know that He sees and hears the cries of his people. And he sends people like me who have nothing to offer but love to have their hearts awakened and shaken to beat again the way he designed it to beat. The question I ask myself today is, "How do I honor your name in this place? How do I show your love?" I am your hands and feet. I am walking in the streets with your beloved. I ask for nothing more than just one chance to show someone your beauty.

Internal process and more things I've learned in Chennai

India and I are learning to get along better. I have started to see that I had my armor on backwards so I wasn't fully protected. It's better now! Some days are harder than others but I didn't expect life to just be smooth sailing once I moved across the ocean. I just thought I would have been pretty prepared mentally right off the bat and this was not the case. Or at least I had forgotten to turn it on. Very important to turn it on.

So here's a bit my internal process and heart on my sleeve. This is what I've been thinking about the last few days and I'm quite shocked at my internal response.

So, what if God asked that I stay here? What if he made a way for my new home to be in Chennai? This is a realistic thought too. He gave me a green light for 6 months but he only shows me just enough of the picture so I'll trust in him and the rest he keeps for a little surprise later. So in my thinking on this I am able to say with a large percentage of certainty; yes, I could stay here and make India my home. Compared to my thoughts on this a week ago, this is a freaking miracle! There was no way that I could think about staying here another second, but it seems the air has changed. I know that in order for this to be the case, he has to have something up his sleeve for me to do. There is something here for me to take on and to learn from. He wouldn't ask me to stay under any other circumstances. He wouldn't place his daughter in a strange land and leave her empty handed. He doesn't work that way. He would have to show me that I have a purpose here and a reason to stay. If nothing were to change, I have no reason to stay. When August comes, I will have no reason to think that I would need to come back because I have nothing rooted here. But God can change that and provide a reason for me to stay or something to come back to. I don't know what it is or what it could be but I know that something is in the air and I'm waiting to see what he does. How knows what he's up to.

Some more things I have learned about Chennai.
-The auto driver will tell you to get out in the middle of the route if he doesn't think you're paying him enough.
-This is when you learn to pick your battles. And this was one I chose not to fight. Not over 5 cents my friend!
-The weirdest flavor of chips ever can indeed be found here! Mint? Really?
-Baskin Robbins is heaven on earth!
-The mosquito population has increased and found out where I lived!
-I will freak out when discovering a giant roach is sitting next to my head in the car.
-I will also climb out of any open car door to get away from said roach!!
-Eating with your fingers gets old...quick.
-Indian commercials are hysterical!
-Cricket is an interesting game and I DO NOT have the attention span to endure it. One match is 5 days long @ 6 hours a day?! Really?
-Laundry is an entire days work and I miss dryers!
-Wear shoes when hanging the laundry! My white feet are pretty sure you're asking them to walk on hot coals!
-Air conditioning is among the best inventions ever made by man!
-The security guy who blows his whistle and bangs his stick at 3AM is really doing it for your protection. Not to wake you up! Apparently.
-Finally...you do actually pray for rain and you can get too much of a good thing!

Roller coaster!

So I've been in Chennai a little more than a week. It seems so much longer than that! I've had some really good days and I've had some not so good days. It's all a major learning curve and sometimes I feel like I'm so far from catching it. I've had thoughts of coming home just for something familiar and comfortable. I actually miss wearing jeans and not have them stick to every part of your body. And this is only February. I think all in all I'm doing OK. I'm not great at getting around by myself pretty much because I doubt my ability to communicate to the auto drivers where I want to go. Yes, this is something that I will have to get over and it causes a lot of frustration for myself. I would like very much to just be able to talk with them but this is not the case.
I'm also horrible at taking pictures of the people I'm with. Sorry! I'm just trying to get adjusted and this means that I often forget my camera at home. I will get better I promise. As soon as I get into my permanent home I will make sure to take some pictures.

As far as getting involved in the ministries here, it's slow going. Right now the Dark Is Beautiful campaign is taking so much time that everything else is falling to the wayside. I'm hoping that I'll be able to start mentoring some girls in the next month or so. I wish it were sooner but I need to be realistic about my expectations. I think that meeting with some of the young girls would be the best way to use my gifts but it all depends on if they want it.

I have met some really great people here and I'm super thankful for that. The people I'm staying with, Steven and Rebekah, (who I want to call Jason and Jennifer and they call me Sally. It's great.) are wonderful! They've made me feel right at home and made the transition easy. I've met some great people at Powerhouse Church that I look forward to getting to know better. Once things slow down a little bit maybe there will be more time for socializing. Maybe.

Yesterday I decided that I would walk to the Powerhouse offices just to see if I could. It felt great to be able to be a little more independent and to be in the streets. It was a little frightening trying to cross some of the busier streets. It's not like in the US at all! There are crosswalks here but you may die if you stand the way of the drivers trying to make u-turns. So I went with the flow and watched what some of the other people were doing and this meant that you stood in the middle of the intersection! Cars flying by you on both sides like it's no big deal. Once I made it to the other side and on a less busy street, I just strolled along like I belonged there. I of course, was the one to watch by every passerby due to the color of my skin. One my walk I had to cross the small river/stream that semi-flows through the city. It's almost neon green in color and the odor that permeates from this stream is toxic! I almost lost it while crossing the river but I picked up the pace a little and held my breath as best I could. Sweet baby Jesus! It was nas-ty!! It took me about 30 mins and by the time I made it to the office I was drenched in sweat! And I can't begin to tell you what the bottoms of my feet looked like! Needless to say, my walking long distances in Chennai are done. No one needs to do that more than once. Really.
And the mosquitos LOVE me! I wake up with new ones every day. It's so special!
All in all, India and I are trying to get along. Sometimes I win and sometimes She wins.

13 things! :)

Here are a few things I've learned about life in Chennai.
1) Eating with your hand does require a lot of skill.
2) Your thumb can be used as mini shovel in this eating process.
3) You will make a mess!
4) It's super fun to eat with your hands and not be looked at like your "special"
5) March-May are going to be hot and miserable! Oh what fun!
6) You get used to having a fine layer of dirt on your skin at all times.
7) I have developed an art at killing little "shower buddies" They all find themselves from which they came. The drain!
8) Flip flops in February are FANTASTIC!!!
9) Dirty feet...all the time!
1o) I have lost count of how many mosquito bites I have acquired. Those suckers are vicious!!!
11) The auto-rick driver will stop in the middle of the road if doesn't think that you're paying him enough. Um, fun!
12) No one else on the road seemed to notice that we just stopped. They all just went around us like we were a cow in the road.
13) High powered fans are DA BOMB!!!

Frustration

Today was the first day that I felt a little frustrated with myself being in a different culture. I find myself wondering if I should have thought all of this through a little more before I jumped on a plane. This is only based on my not being able to be as independant as I'm used to being. I can't get around by myself yet because I know nothing about where to go or how to get there. English is common but with the auto-rick driver's, it isn't always understood. It's hard for me to depend on people to help me get around and get things. It's something that I will have to get used to because I have no other option.
The way they communicate among themslves is so different than what I'm used to as an American. I was at a small group the other night, jet lagged out of my mind, and I had a hard time participating because I could follow the pace they were going at. Once I figured out how the flow of the study I was a little better but frustrated with myself that I wasn't able to contribute anything. I'm hoping that next week is better.
I guess you can call this culture shock. I don't know if that's what it is, but I feel a little bit like a fish out of water. It's frustrating but I also know that I've been here 4 days and it's going to take a lot longer for me to be able to feel as though I'm somewhat comfortable. It's just as simple as me giving this over every day and taking one step at a time and being patient with myself. I need to give myself the benefit of the doubt and relax a little. It's not all going to happen over night and I'm going to make some huge mistakes on the way.

Welcome to Chennai!

Here I am! I have arrived in one piece and all went great! The flights were easy but long! I forgot how hard it is to be on a plane for that many hours all at the same time. They should really knock people out for those things! I got in about 12AM Tuesday and made it my lovely bed around 2AM. I didn't sleep much right away and after I was up for a few hours, I went back to bed and slept all day long. I was woken up @ 6PM to go to dinner. I had been asleep since 8AM!! To say the least, I wasn't able to sleep last night at all and to my surprise I'm not tired now.
I love my temporary host family! They are a young YWAM couple from Ohio with a little 2 year old girl Gloryanna. Rebecca and Steven are wonderful!! They're sarcastic and witty. Right up my alley! I'm not drama and Rebecca likes that a lot! She's also happy that I'm not one of those pretentious Christians and I know how to have a little fun. This is how I know there is a God! :)

Not much has happened in these first 2 days. Sleep and eat just like a baby! I've been around the city a little bit but not too much. I have a lot of time to do that!
I have been talking with Kavita about the Dark is Beautiful campaign that WOW is launching in March. Check it out!!! I am privileged enough to be able to participate with them in this fantastic women's equality campaign and I couldn't be more excited. There has been a lot of press around the conference and we are praying for a great turn out. Keep it in your prayers! This is huge for Chennai and many many more women are effected than what we realize.

There has also been some talk about my mentoring young women at a few of the "tech" colleges and I'm looking forward to exploring that as well. As many of you know, that is where my heart truly lies and so the opportunity to give of myself in this way is overwhelming! Soon I'll have more details on that.
This really is a dream come true for me! I cried when I stepped into the airport that early Tuesday morning. This is real and every day I wake up and it's real. I'm in India and it feels like it was meant to be.
Again, I am blessed. So so blessed!