Time heals all wounds, right? I haven't taken a lot of time to sit and figure out what my returning to WI really means. Sometimes I think it means more than it ought and then there are times that I think that it should mean more than what I'm allowing it to be. The 4 weeks that I've been "home" I have missed India more and more every day. I LOVE that country. I could have lived there for the rest of my days, if I had only felt that I had a purpose there. If I had only felt that I had the grace to do it. I had to go and learn about myself and the higher than normal expectations I place on things to equal my life's meaning. I learned that things done in another country are not more noble than the things done in one's own country. And as I was being driven through the city on the way to the airport, I was looking out the window at my dream and here I was leaving it. Tears streamed down my face as it made no sense to me that I had to give up something that I craved for so long. What I thought I was going to India for, turns out to not be what I was there for. Another person, place or thing does not equal a purpose.
Home feels good and the future feels free. All in all, I'm happy with what I accomplished in myself. I look to my beautiful creator to make sense of it all in due time. I'm in no hurry to move on to the next "big thing" and I'm enjoying the rest. The past year has been quite the intense ride and I'm ready to get off for a while. I know there are things in my future that God has yet to show me and I look forward to them one day, but today is not that day.
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