Restless

Finding the ground of which I'm planted upon is shifting. Settling feels like settling and I've witnessed entirely too many people taking that route and being eternally miserable. I don't know what it looks like but I certainly haven't counted anything out. I do actually grow quite tired of this feeling appearing now and then. Being content feels like being complacent. Some days I wish I were able to just sit and be. And I do have moments of that, but there's this itch that won't be scratched in the core of who I am in this place of wondering. I was not built to live life as usual, so I guess in some ways I should stop looking for it. Such a double edged sword for me. A new place doesn't make the old one useless or dull. The new is just that, new. Exciting. It doesn't hold all the answers to happiness but it holds a mystery that may or may not be caught. Are we to always just wonder about these new places and never actually behold them? Are those of us who are restless deemed flighty and non-committal? I don't believe that a constant rediscovering of who we are is a "mid-life crisis". I think it's actually planted in us from conception to be a constant movement of wondering. To want more, discover more, love more, always be more. Reaching the finish line isn't the goal. It's the journey of which we are on to finding that "more".