Thinking on Good-bye's

What a day. Not good, not bad just emotional. Saying good-bye is taking me by surprise. Rather, the emotions of saying good-bye is exhausting. How do I look my sisters in the face and tell them good bye? How do I tell my mother not to worry? How do I comfort her when my heart is breaking too? Can I tell her anything that will give her ease? I can't. I can tell her that I'll be fine but how does that make the mother's heart heal? How do I do this? I understand that I have to follow after God and no one is asking me to not run head on into his arms, but how do I do this? My sister's, I love my sister's. They're each dramatic and a pain in my side, but I wouldn't trade them in for all the gold in heaven. The stories we have on one another! The pictures I have burned in my mind from seasons past. The tears we've shared together, the hugs we've shared when there were no words. The fights over the bathroom, the phone, the couch and personal space. The broken figurines that were fixed in secret, or so we thought. The parties that were covered up, or so we thought. The endless conversations about absolutely freakin nothing!
I may complain about my family, but I love them. Families are meant to drive us insane and we do such a great job.
God help me love them enough in this season when their hearts are hurting. I cannot comfort them the way you can. Give me strength to look them in the eyes and not show my fear. Help me be strong for them as they're trying so hard to be strong for me. Help them trust that I'm in your hands and you're looking after your daughter. Comfort them at night when they're alone with their tears. Remind them that you're their good father too and they are not alone.
I stand the doorway of saddness and jubilation. One foot on either side and I'm torn. Thank you Abba for being on both sides.